It’s exactly 21 days until I am not a student anymore. This realization should be alarming to me and making me feel nostalgic, however all I feel right now is happiness, excitement & relief. I loved my 4 years at university (sometimes more and sometimes less) but now it’s the time. The time to start a new chapter of my life. The time to stop preparing for the future and get on with it.
Studying art has turned my life upside down & inside out. It changed the way I think and look at the world. Art universities are amazing and I am so happy I chose to study there. They direct you rather than tell you what to do and how. They encourage your own free thinking and creativity. They don’t become a part of your life but your life becomes a part of them. You change the way of looking and approaching the world.
But studying art is a hard work of constantly questioning yourself and your direction, doubting every single step you make because nobody tells you what the wrong and the right is. The satisfaction that used to come from teachers in high school in the form of marks is not there anymore, you are obliged to bring your satisfaction and disappointment yourself.
The main thing for me is that you never stop. You never switch your brain off to rest because what if there is an idea lurking around the corner? You want to be ready & in the right mind set to catch it.
I am so exhausted right now. I might cry and I might feel empty when I finish (I certainly will) but I am so ready for both of these feelings. I am so ready for not living of a student loan, I am so ready for thinking about art and doing art for myself. Or not, who knows?